gloamingdaydream

1.) Tell me how you first got into the art community.

Most of my life from childhood, outside of going to school or other miscellaneous, was full of the desire to play (especially games) or watch cartoons, and eventually youtube. And I would especially take to videogames once I got a memory card and wasn’t trying to speedrun every game, particularly around when I got a 360 and live internet there was no turning back how I was going to spend my years until I was in college.

The other impressions on me that seemed like a dimmer light, but would catch up with me later, would be the occasional and fleeting glimpses of cartoons which were far more mature than my mind, especially the anime that would play and stain my mind with colors like melancholy and nostalgia.

Once my hopes and ill thought ambitions would catch up to me and then leave me behind early in college, I would only shortly later cross the finish line realizing there was nothing but more running.

And so I pretty much flunked everything, stayed in even before Covid hit, and played the latest Call of Duty every day in my small college dorm. Once I got back home away from all of it I was somehow sentient enough after 18 or 19 years to understand how to access anime and tv online, and I quickly started in a new hobby that would overtake even my greatest hobbies.

I had taken an interest sometime in the anime discussions. for better or worse happening on youtube, and decided to make my own rants. It was in my budding elitism and intellectuality in the arts where I ran into thoughtworld actually through Youtube and had been so surprised there was people who seemed to have reasoned opinions on anime. But it turned out they hadn’t uploaded in a year, so I figured that’d be the end.

But that was not the case and **timeskip** I got pretty involved in that sphere even though I never had an instagram really before.

2.) What’s your current artistic philosophy and how do you think it has evolved over the years? How big of a role has the community played in shaping it?

I don’t really have a philosophy. I just have a future. If I think about things more than I learn about things than I am standing still. And the currents change just as the sun goes down and the moon comes up. If I wait too long I’ll be drowning on my own life. The sum of my life is not the sum of the potential of existence, and in fact it’s less than and waning.

There probably is something divine about staring down ones own life, being in the moment, but it’s too concentrated and vaguely pure and powerful for my human mind to handle right now.

I just take everything in passing. I think about things logically as possible, but logic is infinity to me. I don’t try to assume or measure whats in the void from my experience, nor necessarily what I find to be my constructive surroundings. I just have to go further and figure out what’s in front of me, or beyond that. If there’s a shadow in front of me it’s mine, it’s what happens when you stand back and make a bonfire out of your stardust, there is no light I can shine on life out of a shadow.

What I don’t know; is my philosophy. My philosophy is trapping me and so I try to know more. What’s immediate, and apparently clear in front of me is trapping and blinding. Knowledge; the inclination to Infinity; Is Art

My arc in thoughtworld brought me to not just think of art as a pure vague fun and novelty, but something important and introspective, and something to expand to more specific understandings. But I believe my thinking was far much too self supposing and philosophical, with art not adding to what “art” was, but art being measured up to what “art” was. Preconceptions and static rorscachs were the ideas I had to rely on when I watched myself aging in the mirror and world shifting.

But, rotting out of stagnation and my intellectual racetrack that I’d run in circles within anime and what not, I had become such a nothing, that the routes of fun and novelty was actually more of a truth than what I had found. And so I got back into games, but also with the passive-immediate spell of music as my background.

Surrounded by people that aren’t me, I had my own shallow goals checked. Birdmusiclog’s perspectives left many impressions on me which I would journey to understand more over time. And eventually by moving forward I would fully realize my love with the mystery of music. And less so with everything else.

3.) How would you define an artist, and do you consider yourself one?

An artist is somebody who lives and whose steps lead to somewhere, whether accidentally or not, or for themselves. The active motion of an artist is somebody I believe dedicated to finding the truth of existence. I believe I am an artist. Regardless of having creations. I believe that the truths of art in a way are universal and essentially vicarious. We witness and open these doors with these artists through time, the active and opened intellectual lens paves the way for artistic vision.

4.) Same question but for art critics: How do you define that term, and do you consider yourself a critic?

A critic to me is somebody who contends that there is debatable importance and value between every facet of life, especially within art. The critics who show themselves are the ones who openly contend these things and others ways of finding this idea of value. I’m definitely a critic, I believe everybody is a critic. And I avoid the darkness and chaos of not knowing or assessing what I’m looking for.

5.) Tell me a little bit about your piece, “When The Water Broke”: how it came about, some of its inspirations, some of the choices you made during its creation…

Terrible retail job. Come home and do everything but fall asleep after busting my ass for minimum wage. I wouldn’t have it any other way though as far as my effort, when work became my life I had to give it everything, there was no other place I could be while I was there but there. My metaphysical limitations had tried exceeding this fact, maybe unconsciously and I ended up in spite of it.

I tried to do something while I had my energy on the job. Most of my thoughts would go in a circle, I would go around and shop for people all day without ever meeting them or talking to anybody. Becoming just somebody who grabbed objects.

I didn’t draw a face on any of them, but I just ended up pretty much having theoretical conversations. With people I might train about what I was doing and why I did it, or if my brother worked with me. Or about the stuff I was buying on the retail floor.

Imagining what it would mean to a child to get a toy, or what some mid life crisis would think if I brought him his fake oreos half crumbled. Really kinda getting into my role and appreciating myself from afar unlike I saw these families, and in a way I couldn’t feel from anybody else near me.

Brain rot, but to be honest kind of more interesting than I realized, maybe it’s what being a house wife is like or something. Or like the cleaning lady in Synechdoche New York.

I started trying to note the honest impressions though of what was around me instead of this loneliness and started writing poetry to try to actually create something for what was not there. And not long into some interesting thoughts I started at work I finished the whole thing one weekend on a streak of inspiration maybe.

My concept was loosely like Four Quartets. Something about time. I wanted to evoke every creature and every suffering soul, adult or young or ancient or other. One for every line. Separated but sorta delivered in the first person so that it seemed it was all happening at once and the same experience or person.

And supposedly the stanzas were all limited to a certain awareness of the world within the measure of their length, and by the climax is the most potential for awareness, and maybe by the end I intended there to be less of an awareness which is why there are less lines.

I definitely had obscured myself at the time and for a solid bit of my life that I was a martyr. And I always took an interest with the idea of innocence paired with the responsibility and power that every one faces in themself and the world.

As far as other influences… there’s some bible stuff ig, and I prob unconsciously tried emulating the poetry of somebody like Scott Walker.

6.) You mentioned to me the other day that you’ve recently been more deep into jazz and classical music. What do you think is so appealing about those specific forms of music to you, and what have you gotten out of them so far?

This will be the one I’m least content with.

Jazz comes from classical and brings classical back again to reinvent itself a few times at least.

Classical to me I believed to be the most consistently active, dense, and ambitious field of compositional music. And the one with the most history in western music. It was my prerogative to understand music development to have an idea of classical.

Jazz to me focuses more on a more active and transforming improvisational sense of impressionism from classical and percussive music. Jazz feels to be more actively working from a point of consistency and constancy or the lack thereof, and it takes advantage particularly of recurring motifs to show how they push towards and out of each other and distort and coincide.

Classical music is similar but I guess I find it tends to be less consistently claustrophobic and scenic of the bustle of the city. It feels more like watching something a bit more precise, spacious maybe, and planned out even if still boasting density.

I definitely think going through Jazz and Classical’s history a bit had a big effect on how I see compositions, but Jazz in particular has really got me excited. It feels like a discernible origin of a lot of the music I was becoming interested in making. But I’m sure when I go back to classical or other music it’ll pay off for those too, as another side of the coin I didn’t have yet in dynamics maybe. I really feel like I can say I never have gotten more out of music than I have now.

I need to start making music.

7.) You have a good amount of writing on your highlights, as well as stuff you’ve written that aren’t posted, such as a certain 4’33 discussion we had the other week. I think most of your writings are really fascinating, but what do you personally think is your best/favourite? Does anything in particular stand out to you?

I think a lot of my highlights back in the day were kinda mental, but people tell me that was very interesting stuff. I talk so much about things and I really don’t keep track to be honest, and I take more pride in stupid shit I say in discord.

I like my poem tho.

8.) You have a brother who’s also in this community. How have you influenced each other artistically?

My brother is my closest link to a lot of the hobbies I used to have. We have a similar sense of humor and absurd awareness of things that we’ve developed over time. We think similar things are “cool” and represent power in art. Pretty far apart on the art spectrum all things considered though. But my brother is in my art like I’m in Finnegan’s Wake. I hope we can make some art together.

It’s my twin, there’s not really anybody I know more to be honest and kinda have less to say on.

9.) What made you agree to do this interview with me?

Well I’ve never been interviewed like this. I hope I get the chance again, but yk, I’m not there yet, I take things while they’re here. And I do it for you as well.

It’s a pretty interesting thing so far, not quite completely artistic of me, maybe a bit over-thinky. and narcissistic. But I guess if there was ever an interesting, sorta artistic way to take inventory of myself and be kinda in the moment, his would be it. Better than exhausting my creative overflow into some battle royal game while listening to a podcast in the background. This is basically what I ended up doing

I like when people ask me questions.

10.) What is your fondest moment with art?

Today I relistened to Mingus’s The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. Which was awesome. Nah, I mean I guess I would say these past couple nights Jazz has really paid off, I went from kinda avoiding it and struggling to pretty much falling in love with it and having insanely powerful listenings. Love Supreme was a struggle for me, and was probably the catalyst for me going back into Jazz this hard.

And when I got it after this relisten and realized how good it was this whole time it really was profound and inspiring. It felt like I kinda had shined a light on a big void and really mastered something myself, and witnessed the full once in a lifetimeness of art.

It didn’t have to be a “10/10”. That moment confirms to me where my goals lie and the importance of actually understanding where art comes from. And not choosing art like your choosing the tallest rollercoaster. Everything gradually ascends towards the higher and higher. The rollercoaster is realizing how much greatness is in even the most expected things.

After Love Supreme, The next night I had the most insane victory laps ever and had one of the best nights of music in my life listening to Jazz, a genre I could’ve never gotten. I felt like I was going to explode. Pure stardust.

I don’t really think of anything in the past.

11.) Is there anything I haven’t brought up that you’d like to talk about? It could be about anything?

Romance. Visual Art.