gloamingdaydream

1. First of all, why the FUCK would you possibly pick the name “Hisoka” as your username?

Trust me, I’ve been bearing the brunt of that decision for longer than I can remember, made by one who feels like an utterly separate individual.

Flashback to 2020: it’s Covid Lockdown, I just finished my 15th anime, Hunter x Hunter, my new favorite anime. I am slowly slipping into the folds of a new obsession in this budding relationship with anime, and I need an outlet to share it. (This sort of flows into the answer for the next question). Back in the 2018-2020 era I used to follow a bunch of IG hiphop pages, and with their the pattern of their cliche’d username, I used that as the template for the name of the account I was setting up. To put things in context, this is a time of pre-taste, not a time when I had ‘different taste’, but when an individualised approach to art hadn’t even began to form. I don’t think I comprehended anything I saw beyond a vague blob of emotions felt from my superficial level of engagement.

So I was looking to choose a HxH character as the name for my account, I first sought for Killua since I too like every other typical anime fan of that era who is drawn by the irradiation of hype and vague ideals of ‘cool-ness’, all rounded up with a likeable and human character, had him as their favourite. His names were unfortunately taken, as my next resort something at the time made me go with ‘Hisoka’ without too much thought, probably just because he’s quite an iconic presence of the show, and I didn’t think too much into the more…slippery connotations of his nature, and of course, had no idea that this name would become my identifier for eras to come…

2. Tell me how you first got into the art community.

To go truly go back to the beginning requires a dive into depths of the past that haven’t been stirred by the hands of active memory in a while, with the exception of random flashes of nostalgia, mainly because it’s buried below eras of inner civilisation; it’s like tracing the biography of another person, who just happened to be my present self at a point in time, a predecessor to my current universe (which in itself is always growing and changing), and which in some roundabout reaction led me to this interview today.

I mentioned in the previous question that I made this account originally as an outlet for my growing interest in anime, during lockdown when I made the decision to submerge myself into the medium. I first brushed up on the shores of instagram, funnily enough, in the anime meme community. A vague inspiration of what I wanted to do with the account back then was the page ‘smuckersbytyler’, an account many probably knew. I wanted to maintain a low effort feed of memes or whatever really, while being able to post my all thoughts on my story as I watched more anime. Even back then when my current ways of thinking were not truly hatched, the inclinations to seeking something more in art existed, and so I found the anime meme community quite stifling and un-interesting.

Unexpected doors opened up from new encounters with people in group chats I was added to, a door to what would be the 2020-late 2021 animanga community. A pretty funny time looking back, a lot of drama in that community, lockdown left people with too much time on their hands, including me. And so just as it waxed with lockdown, it gradually waned off with lockdown’s disappearance; most people stopped posting, many deactivated, generally it just died a long and slow death. I stuck around on the account though because my relationship with art had only been thickening and deepening, and I enjoyed talking with particular people and sharing my thoughts online. This was probably around the time I had just finished Umineko and Subahibi, which at the time were paradigm-shifting favourites, and had decided to expand my boundaries beyond animanga to other horizons, most notably literature (a journey which has engulfed me and has become my main path in the pursuit of art, having largely left behind the world of animanga at this point).

Another door opened up unexpectedly after a while of quietly exploring art on my own basis and posting occasional thoughts – entering into Valid Chat (there were some overlap in mutuals). I guess that’s when I found myself officially in what is known as ‘artstagram’. And the rest follows.

3. What is your current artistic philosophy and how has it been shaped/influenced by your time on artstagram?

To answer this question properly, I’d have to give delve into way too much detail, because my relationship with art is inextricable from my relationship with life; so instead I’ll provide a sort of whistle-stop of its general evolution. And bear with me because it’s shifted quite a large distance from where it began.

Ever since the dawn of my consciousness in adolescence, when I started to think for myself, my inclinations of thought tended towards a bottomless existential dread which consumed me. Around 2021, my relationship with art had started becoming something more than just the immediate superficial experience of it, and it was almost as if I looked to art for answers as to how to live. All art represented to me a different lens to approach living, perspectives which were entirely novel to me. And all my favourites from this time were instrumental in subverting my own perspective towards living, expanding my world and showing me how life can be.

This was a time when I could look to certain pillars of thought-processes and perspectives within me, and trace them back to the work of art from which they originated; and all together, these pillars held up the fragile edifice of my life – my favourites being the heaviest, most weigh-bearing of them, invaluable to me, transforming the edifice to a degree I can’t possibly describe without going into specifics.

At a certain point in time, a process began. And it was subconscious for a long time, before I recognised it. But first, in order to describe this process, I will have to outline a key idea I call ‘the metaphysical plane of art’.

‘The metaphysical plane of art’, what this term describes is the following concept: how – as I experienced more art, and they left their impression on me, each of them swirled into their own unique existence for me and all fusing themselves into its furnishing of my inner world – I realised that on a larger scale it’s as if there’s an entire metaphysical plane being created, a world which is formed of threads of thoughts and realizations and emotions from every work of art that’s moved me, interacting with each other; the essences of every work of art that continues to be fused in our being like laws of nature in this metaphysical dimension of art. A crucial part of this phenomenon I want to emphasize is the interaction of all every work of art that’s left an impression in us, perhaps this work expressed this sort of sentiment and opened up a certain new perspective while another work maybe dealt with another aspect of life, and together they intertwine to a specific shape, threads playing off each other – some threads might counteract or supplement each other – but the sense of it is that this is occurring at an indescribably expansive level, with threads of every truth we derive from art interacting with each other on every levels, into an amalgamate metaphysical universe within our internal worlds, one entirely unique to us each.

Now this all seems detached from the world, caught in itself, but contextualising what this ‘metaphysical plane of art’ represents in a broader sense, how it exists in tandem to our own pursuit of life is what opens up the pandora’s box of possibility. As someone who used to use this ‘metaphysical plane of art’ to guide my endeavour of living, I realised it was a process of drawing associations between this swirling universe of essences of art within me, against the external world; and these associations guided me every step of the way, I sought the truths of art in my external existence. I sought the beauty of art in the world around me.

Of course, art in itself, is inherently stemming from life; each of these works of art find their significance from the life of artist from where they originated, and the essences these works exude find their significance in context of life. I was

In a sort epiphanic moment, this relationship between art and life was reversed. The dialectical relation between the ‘metaphysical plane of art’ (with its swirling essences) and life, led me to an understanding that surely – could we not then approach life as ‘the potential for art’? I called this ‘the artist’s lens’ in its approach to life. That there exists the potentiality for everything to become art. That for ‘the artist’, for one who seeks to create, that with the infinite possibilities of their mind, hypothetically the artist can reconfigure anything into art; beauty is born in the very perception of it, to perceive something as beautiful is an act of creation, the act of the artist reinterpreting something into a newfound significance.

I’ve been fascinated by the interstice between ‘art’ and ‘life’ for a long time, and these avenues of contemplation took me to the forefront of it, ‘art in its rawest form’, the art that’s created in the internal world of the artist, the art that’s created in the very perception of beauty, what occurs before they ever put pen to paper. The second part of ‘creation’, which is the translation of this ‘internal art’ through the wielding of a a medium, to express it, is the other side of this, which I’ll speak about in the relevant question.

(And I’d like to make it clear, when I say ‘beauty’ in this sense I’m not referring to some pleasant aesthetic, I’m referring to any ‘thing’ being taken towards a higher metaphysical significance, irrespective of connotations of qualities of the underlying sentiment).

For indeed, to the artist, the world exists as the potential for art, waiting to be composed, ‘created’, by the infinity of their mind.

In terms of how it’s been shaped by instagram, I think mainly through the works I’ve been exposed to, several of them being works which who knows when or if I’d stumble into them; many of them have played a massive role in expanding my world and richening my ‘artistic philosophy’. It’s been more of a personal journey between the art and its relation to my life. (Of course I still love talking with mutuals about art, but in terms of the insight that provides, it’s more about specific works, rather than a general perspective on art).

4. How would you define an artist? Would you consider yourself one?

I’ve expounded plenty on a more foundational artistic philosophy of how the sparks of art are generated in their rawest form, so we’ll leave the primordial ‘internal art’ and move towards art as it’s created materially, the translation of that ‘internal art’. I’ll share a definition of art I sent to someone:

‘In its purest form, art is just someone trying to communicate their internal world (or at least a segment of it), those unspoken elements which lie at the core of their ‘being’ that otherwise remain unuttered, confined below the materiality of their existence (that ‘being’ which is a combination of our processing of external phenomena as well as the innate originality of our essence, interacting in a sort of infinite symbiotic relationship) – its a way for them to explore these landscapes of their world which otherwise remain invisible, to extrapolate out these rich sentiments which otherwise remain coiled up in a vague blurb in their mind.

So in this sense, I think the very act of creating art is transcendent. The artist creates something that that transcends the confines of their existence (whether that’s the physical confines, namely flesh and our materiality, or the non-physical confines, the imposed rigidity on our existence from various worldly influences) – it allows the expansive landscapes of their mind to expand interminably, into the metaphysical, with a limitless horizon.

Not only does the act of ‘creation’ speak to an undeniable divinity of our nature, but outside of ourselves it gives others the opportunity to peer into this world we reside in (otherwise invisible to them, for their eyes cannot see below our coarse materiality). For someone to genuinely ‘see’ another, (and by ‘see’ I mean to peer into their rich inner world, what truly defines their consciousness) – experiencing someone’s art is probably one of the most intimate experiences, the most validating ode to their existence.’

In terms of do I see myself as an artist? I’d say yes. For the past 2 years I have been adopting the ‘artist’s lens’ I outlined in my approach to living.

I feel a vocation that I must fulfill, to translate my life into art.

I’m always writing in my head, taking impressions and trying to compose them into a metaphor or string of words.

Now, the distance between me and the art I aspire to is a whole other matter. Perhaps I fall short every step of the way, perhaps I am bound to fail, perhaps I shall never reach the destination; perhaps the art I created in the fibres of my mind are lost on my clumsy fingers, that my internal art will be lost in translation, in my imperfect capacity for expression; but regardless, that doesn’t change this. A failed artist is still an artist.

5. How would you define an art critic? Would you consider yourself one?

Some would argue that having any form of critical reflection on art makes you a ‘critic’, by which definition I would be. Perhaps I’m being hypocritical in approaching the term ‘artist’ by an abstract essence and ‘critic’ in a more specific sense, but personally I do not see myself as a critic.

I do spend considerable time and effort reflecting and writing about art, but this is always for my own purpose, to deepen my own understanding, as a sort of way to extrapolate the internal dialogue about the art occurring in my head, as a souvenir of memory because I am more wary than ever of how easily memory withers. And especially more recently I do not even end sharing my ‘criticism’ writings (they are way too long). Beyond writing, I do not enjoy the other pedantics of being a ‘critic’, like rating things numerically and maintaining a balanced scale which accurately and expansively reflects your scope of experienced art. I used to, and having left it behind I retrospectively realise how much of a headache it was, spending time playing around with ratings and the added pressure of being a consistent critic – and moreover I got nothing out of it, it was just an admin job. I’d much rather spend time thinking about the art itself, deepening my perspective of the works – that’s where the heart of my relationship with art works lie, rather than the numerical abstraction.

I do appreciate that several people get a lot out of this side of being a ‘critic’ for their own relationship with art though. And I truly value critics for their contributions, I’m grateful there are those out there who enjoy it so much, I certainly enjoy following their web of consistently arranged art opinions; they’ve been a well for art recommendations, and continue to be.

But as for myself, I see myself as an explorer. Art represents the possibilities of the consciousness, its infinitude, and engaging with art is a way for me to surf those fibres, and my world’s boundary becomes an endless horizon.

If I had to outline my general approach to art by tracing back its patterns, each work of art is a universe (the extrapolation from the artist’s internal world) – I seek to elucidate how these laws of the universe come together to make up its whole expressive essence, looking into the microscopy of its form, as well the macroscopy of its radiance. All in all, piecing together its movements of expression, enough to be able to make out a blueprint of outlines, a framework which doesn’t limit its reach but instead allows a streamlined stairway to infinity.

6. You spent quite some time reading Proust’s “In Search of Lost Time”. How was the experience as a whole and how did it influence/change you?

This is a topic where I would I could speak at length but I’m wary of how long this interview is becoming, so I’ll be brief. My asnweee

In short, starting ISOLT coincided with a time when I was becoming increasingly intrigued in the interstice between ‘art’ and ‘life’. I mean the very essence of ISOLT is treading this boundary but way the experience of ISOLT unravelled was more expansive than I could have ever expected.

I had certain seedlings of thought, which had already started germinating, but ISOLT twined with those, provided the perfect fertilizer. For some reason, Proust just resonated quite innately, maybe from some similarities in pattern of thought, or maybe what I’m describing is just a universal experience. Over the course of my prolonged experience with the book, without even actively realizing, its essences had seeped their way into my sensibility and ingrained into it, I had grew with it, in an inextricable manner – not only expanding my world outside myself, but emphasising things already within myself, that perhaps I did not even realize before.

I’ve done an enormous amount of reflective and analytical writing on Proust, and what I’ve covered feels like just the tip of it.

7. What made you agree to do this interview?

I mean why not. These are some interesting questions and trying to articulate my answer to them is bound to be useful for myself. And perhaps out there, a poor soul will actually read my ramblings and it’ll trigger a glint of something.

8. You’ve shared with me some of your writings at times. What is your process when trying to create art? How do you make certain stylistic decisions?

’d like to preface that barely have I learnt to speak, I’m a toddler who’s still reckoning with the foundations of articulation, and have a long way to go till I’m satisfied with my capacity for artistic expression.

Writing is certainly a painful process – it’s to inhumanly find rapture in pulling out and displaying your entrails.

I often say, I’m just trying to paint with words. But rather than the visual landscape, I’m trying to paint the flow of thoughts and ideas, with my lexicon as my pallet. And honestly my process kind of reflects this too. I’ll make my broad brush strokes of a paragraph, the string of metaphors and ideas, associations and implications, and then keep adding layer by layer to it over time, letting the paint dry as I let my mind wander and reconfigure how to conjoin certain loose threads within the paragraph, how to make certain metaphors flow into another and feed into a larger one, how to maximise the interplay of cadence and the underlying flow of ideas. It feels a bit like sculpture too, because I guess writing is very architectural in nature, it’s an architecture of words which act as the ‘sign’, a semiotic structure which extends into a metaphysical dimension where it truly finds its fruition of significance. As a result, I take a long time to write even a small section (and I’m almost never satisfied with it). That’s something to work on.

I think one thing I value is the flow of associations and ideas – the world of implications underlying each word, each string of words, each metaphor; and to write, is to maximise this, to architecturally sequence your words to convey beautiful movements across worlds of ideas , a swishing dance of sentiments, metaphors traversing and bring together new universes, or building them from scratch in the way they roll along like a snowball. All of it comes back to movement – movements of thought, movements which imply possibility.

9. You’ve recently changed your username to reflect (haha) a “post-hisoka” era. What inspired this change?

Just a whim really. I mean, the only reason I kept it was because it’s become my identifier on this app. By now my account is dead anyways, so I thought I may as well just change it.

10. What is your fondest moment with art?

It’s dependent on the era really. My fondest memory of art isn’t some universal experience but it’s respective to the self I am at that point in time; since our amorphous, dynamic and disparate self is in a constant state of flux.

Like the ‘I’ from 5 years ago was moved to unimaginable heights from Umineko, and was left in disbelief of its existence, but that ‘I’ has shifted to another and now that experience, though overwhelmingly strong, has faded slightly into the memory of someone I was.

In more recent times, the obvious answer would be ISOLT. Duino Elegies and Passion according to GH were some insane experiences too from this year – My 3 favourite literary works at the moment potentially. In terms of music, I’m very much in shallow waters, but FJM’s work especially Pure Comedy comes to mind (as the gateway to truly feeling the potency of music as a medium).